Eight Worlds 01 The Ophiuchi Hotline by John Varley

Author:John Varley [Varley, John]
Format: epub
Published: 2010-05-17T15:12:31.478000+00:00

13

Starline, by the Public Relations Master Program, Main Business Computer, StarLine, Ltd. Readrating II.

Who'd a thought they'd miss? Nobody figured on it. People were looking for junk from the stars for

God knows how long. Way back in old-style time, Project Ozma took a listen. No good. Later on, we

turned the big ears on 'em. Centauri, Wolf, Lalande, Procyon, 40 Eridani. Quiet, real quiet. What

gives? We listened to 'em all, and no buzz.

Then we started to get way far out. Beyond Pluto, twice that fuggin' far away, and what do you think?

Voices!

Well, not voices, exactly, you readout? Computer bippety-bips and offedy-ons. Nobody could read

'em for a long time. (I mean, you should take a look at 'em! Press the printout and a zillion acres of

flyspecks.) Even the computers didn't know what the message was. But a couple things were sure.

Somebody was sittin' on 70 Ophiuchi with one fuggin' big laser, they wanted to talk, and they

couldn't shoot piss into a pot!

Hold on! Maybe they weren't shootin' at us. So they looked around behind us, you know, but there's

nothing but a couple of stars in Orion's armpit. They were yakkin' at us, all right. But how come they

file:///F|/rah/John%20Varley/John%20Varley%20-%20The%20Ophiuchi%20Hotline.htm (78 of 152) [8/28/03 1:12:01 PM]

The Ophiuchi Hotline by John Varley

missed? You think they'd build a laser like that if they can't aim it?

No way. Somebody said, "Hey! Maybe they don't want to talk till we're ready! Like, we gotta be

smart enough to get out there, or something." Sounds okay, huh? Sure enough. They've been talking

for four hundred years now. They lead us by fifteen billion klicks, like a skeet shooter. You wanna

listen, you gotta go out there.

Somebody else said, "How come we don't build us a big laser and talk back?" You kiddin'? Who's

gonna pay for it?

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